PL “Tell me…” NO

“If you have doubts about whether a certain behavior is assertive, see if it increases your self-respect at least a little.”

Herbert Fensterheim, American psychologist, co-creator of the theory of assertiveness

Tell me…NO, this was the motto of the next workshops within our project.

Assertiveness is more than the ability to say no effectively. It is primarily the ability to express one’s views, feelings or opinions while maintaining respect for oneself as well as for the freedom and rights of other people. Assertiveness is about communicating in a way that does not exceed the limits of your needs and at the same time does not hurt the other person. Its opposite is aggression and submission.

During the workshops, there was an opportunity to assess one’s own behavior and define the characteristic features of an assertive attitude. We tried to determine whether you can behave assertively in every situation, e.g. at work or at school.

We discussed the laws of assertiveness formulated by Jan Ferguson, author of the book “Perfect Assertiveness”.

We learned the Charter of 10 Human Rights, according to which each of us has the right:

  1. ask for what he wants – which doesn’t mean he has to get it;
  2. express your opinion, feelings and emotions – assertively, i.e. adequately to the situation;
  3. not be discriminated against;
  4. make decisions independently and bear their consequences;
  5. decide whether he wants to get involved in other people’s problems – he does not have to constantly sacrifice himself for others;
  6. make mistakes and learn from them without feeling guilty;
  7. get what you pay for – when you buy something or use services;
  8. change our decisions – we develop and we don’t always have to have the same opinion;
  9. to privacy;
  10. be successful – you should not minimize your achievements, just enjoy them.